An even more screwed up Kirby story
by King-Dedede114
Summary: The second part of the "Screwed up Kirby story series! Read, or I'll suck your brains out.
1. Kirby Section

Chapter 1: Kirby Section  
  
A/N: I don't own anyting trademarked in this story. Ni-Kaabi, Miruku, and Hoshi are mine, and you may use them, just give me credit.  
  
Last time...  
  
Our Heroes defeated the ice dragon and the ghost and rescued Miruku. But now, they have something else to worry about, Fat Buu from the Dragonball Z section became lost while looking for some chocolate and ended up in the Kirby section of Fanfiction.net. So now our party must travel to the depths of the Dragonball Z section to return Majin Buu to Hercule. All this adds up to...  
  
AN EVEN MORE SCREWED UP KIRBY STORY!!!  
  
(Insert end song to G Gundam here.)  
  
Now, on with the show!!!!  
  
King Dedede was leading the party down the road, singing loudly. "Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed." Kirby joined in, "She was lookin' Kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead" Next, Hoshi piped up. "Well, the years start comin and they don't stop comin!" "Back to the rules an' I hit the ground runnin'!" Sang Tiff, Tuff called out, "Didn't make sense not to live for some" "Your brain gets smart, butcha head get's dumb!" Sang Ni- Kaabi "You'll never know if you don't go" screeched Buu. "You'll never shine if you don't glow!" Miruku finished the beginning Then all of them sang. "Hey now, you're an all-star! So get your game on, go play! Hey now, you're a rock star so get your show on, go play! An all that's a little bit slow, only shootin' stars break the mold!" Ni-Kaabi spoke up, Hey! Listen to this song! He sang the song, "Without me" by Eminem. "WHO Taught him that?! said King Dedede. Everyone pointed to Escargoon, who King Dedede beat the crap out of right there with a bag of melted frozen peas. Metaknight looks around and says "It's getting dark, We'd better set up camp, before we lose Buu in the woods." Ni-Kaabi coughed. "Dad, I don't feel good." He said. King Dedede looked worried. "How do you not feel good?" " My stomach hurts and I feel kinda hot." King Dedede turned to the party. "We need to stop. Ni-Kaabi's sick." So they set up camp. As they sat down to the campfire, King Dedede asks MK, "Hey, how come you never take that mask off? Is your face really scarred and ugly or something?" MK looked really embarrassed and said, after a long, akward pause, "Um....................... Well, It happened like this..."  
  
*Flashback* MK is sitting in the camp with the star warriors. They are all talking about a victoria's secret catalouge that was swiped from a backpack, which they're looking at. He is trying to glue his mask back together after he accidentally broke it.  
  
MK: Here we go, glue it back together with this super glue so I can hide my true identity from the warriors who I like to put Icy Hot in their pants.  
  
MK doesn't wait for the glue to dry, though, and when he wakes up the next morning...  
  
MK: I need to let my face cool off. (Tries to pull mask off) Oh, sh*t...  
  
*End of flashback*  
  
King Dedede laughed. "Ha ha! And everyone thinks I'M stupid! "Oh, yeah?" Says MK, "What about that time you got glue on your hands, scratched your butt, then glued your hand to it?!" King Dedede turned red, "THAT'S A SECRET!!!!! And I know that YOU like Hamtaro!!!!" MK retaliated, "Oh, yeah? What about that time when you got wasted and thought you saw an alien, but it was really Escargoon, so you beat the crap out of him?!" "You got gored in the butt when you went bullfighting!!!" "You locked yourself out of the castle naked!!!" Suddenly, They heard Ni-Kaabi in his tent. "Niiiiiiii- Kaabi?" said King Dedede. He waddled into the tent, only to find Ni-Kaabi sitting up, curled into a ball, and shaking. King Dedede goes over to him, "Ni-Kaabi, are you okay?" He opened his mouth to talk........... and barfed all over King Dedede. "EEEEEEEEW!!!" said King Dedede. "I was afraid this would happen." Said Miruku, "He sometimes gets sick after a hard fight." With that, he put his hands on Ni-Kaabi's stomach, and they began to glow, along with Ni-Kaabi. After the glow went off, Ni-Kaabi looked up at his dad. He looked much better. "Dad, I'm hungry." "Um, go with Escargoon, he'll feed you............ while I clean the puke off my clothes." They walked back to the campfire, Escargoon leading Ni-Kaabi. When they got back, Escargoon was watching Ni-Kaabi and Miruku whispering to each other. "Hey, Escargoon?" says Miruku, "We dare you to snort this pixie stick!!!" He was holding a big pixie stick. Escargoon said, "Why should I?" "Because," said Ni-Kaabi, "We dared you, you have to do it." So Escargoon took the pixie stick in one hand, held it up to his nose(?) and inhaled as deeply as he could. "SNIIIIIIIIIIIIFF- SNORK SNORT HONK *cough cough* *wrrrretch!* AHCHOO!!!" He felt like he was trying to breathe Drano. After he recovered, he said, "Okay, I dare you to........... Go through your Dad's backpack!!!" So Ni-Kaabi began to dig through his dad's backpack and came up with....... a dirty magazine. "What's this?" He said. No one knew what to tell him. Then King Dedede came back. "Dad, what's this?" Said Ni- Kaabi. "Er..........ummmmmmmmmm.....uhhhhhh.......It's............aaaaaa........... .First aid guide..." "Why are these two people doing that? See, one of them is standing behind the other one and holding her." King Dedede took the magazine, "He's trying to get food out of her windpipe, she's choking." "I didn't know that." "Of course you don't, you're only four." Ni-Kaabi innocently looked up at his dad. "Dad what does this mean?" and with that, He gave his dad the hand. "NI-KAABI!!!! DON'T DO THAT!!! IT MEANS A REALLY BAD WORD!!!" Then King Dedede turned to the rest of the group. "From now on, if someone does so much as think a bad word, then I'll bash his brains in with my hammer!!!" Everybody looked scared. Tuff just had to push it. " I'm thinking of a word that starts with "cr" and ends with "ap" So naturally, King Dedede goes over..... and puts down his hammer. "I won't hammer you for that." he said. Then he took tuff and his glass of water, dumped out the glass, and stuffed Tuff into the waterglass. "Unfortunately, I said nothing about stuffing your entire body into a shot glass. "It's a water glass." said Tuff, so King Dedede got mad and broke the glass with his mallet. "Ouch...." said Tuff when he popped back into shape. Buu woke up from where he was sleeping. "Buu need sleep. You all be too loud. Buu no sleep!" Kirby asked Buu, "You didn't eat, how about some candy or something?" so Buu said, "You make yummy for Buu's tummy?" "Sure." said Kirby, "I have plenty of candy." Buu sat down and pigged out on every single last bit of Kirby's candy. "Whoa" said Kirby, "He's even hungrier than me!" Hoshi suddenly yelled, "I'M AN ALIEN!!!" Everyone looked at her. "Well, I had to say something because trhe writer was ignoring me again, but I really am an alien!!!" "How do you know?" asked King Dedede. "Because my name means star, and aliens come from the stars." Tiff looked up from her diary. "Are you aware that the Japanese name for the Kirby anime means "Kirby's Star?" "YEAH!!!" said Hoshi, "And I am Kirby's Star!!! cuz he's my aibo!!! (A/N: I think "Aibo" means boyfriend.) And with that, Hoshi planted a big, wet kiss right on Kirby's mouth. Kirby fainted. as he fainted, he knocked a heavy pot on Hoshi's head. Hoshi shook her head around, and her eyes got really wide, "OH NO!!! I GOT KNOCKED SANE!!!" she began to panic. "Whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoido?!" Metaknight picked up a heavy metal pot and slammed it into her head. She shook her head again and stood up. "HOORAY!!!!! I'M INSANE AGAIN, HEE HEE HEE!!!" King Dedede looked to the sky, "It's midnight, we'd better sleep." he said. and they fell right asleep.  
  
***  
  
While Tiff was sleeping, MK came to her in a dream and said, "Tiff, wake up! Something bad is happening to you!" She awoke with a start and noticed that something had taken a valueable possession. "Oh no!" she said.  
  
End of chapter 1  
  
KingDedede114: so do you like it? after I get rid of a few charactars, I might accept the best charactar sent to me! so send your charactars to KingDedede114@aol.com, the best one will be in my story! 


	2. Mario Section

Chapter 2: The Mario Section  
  
Tiff reached up and felt her head. Someone had cut her hair REALLY short while she slept, so that she looked like a boy. Oh, and they stole her diary. "WHO DID THIS?!?!?!" roared Tiff. She screamed so loud, that all the birds in the trees flew away, a car alarm went off, and Chris Farley arose from the grave. Everyone arrived at her tent thinking that she might be hurt. When they all saw Tiff's butchered hair, Everyone busted out laughing. Kirby laughed until he turned blue, King Dedede laughed until he was drooling like Niagra Falls, Tuff laughed himself into a stupor, Hoshi laughed so insanely that Chris Farley's ghost went back into it's grave, Buu tittered like a little girl, MK actually laughed until it hurt, Ni- Kaabi laughed so hard that he accidentally wet himself, Miruku laughed until he was pink, and Escargoon laughed till he cried. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!" said Tiff, "Someone stole my diary too!!!" Tuff cotinued to laugh, so Tiff picked him up, took one of her shirts, and deftly stuffed Tuff into one sleeve of the shirt. "Okay! I admit it! I stole your diary!" So Tiff stuffed him through a toilet paper roll, much to Escargoon's fear. Well, Tuff just had to take it up to the next level. "I also read it!" Tiff hauled off and punched his head backwards. Tuff got in one more word, "I also *Crack* (He was turning his head the right way) cut your hair off as a joke!" So Tiff took a pair of scissors and cut Tuff's hair really short, but unevenly. However, she left his bangs the way they were. "Hehehehehe! Twin boys!" said Escargoon, so Tuff cut one side of his mustache off. King Dedede busted out laughing, so Escargoon grabbed a big handful of feathers and pulled them out. "YEEEEEOWWWWW!!!!!" King Dedede screamed really loud. Well, then everyone got into one big fight, punching, kicking, biting, scratching, pinching, clawing, spiking, hammering, and inhaling each other. After everyone had more or less beaten each other to a bloody pulp, they all kissed and made up. "Hey!" said Buu suddenly, "We fight so hard that we all in Mario section!" Everyone looked around, and sure enough, they were in the Mario section. "Aw, cool!" said Ni-Kaabi, "Look at those eggs!" They were white eggs with spots of various colors. Ni-Kaabi went over to investigate the nest. Tiff took out a book on eggs and began to read aloud from it. "Here it is! 'Yoshi eggs' These eggs are best known for their spotted appearance on a white background. You should never approach a nest, as the parents may be nearby, and will often attack you if you get too close to the-" Suddenly, she was interrupted by Ni-Kaabi. "DAAAAAD, HELP ME! THIS THING'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!" There was a large female yoshi attacking him, and had him on the ground, biting him in the face. King Dedede stepped in, by attracting the yoshi away with something he had in his pocket. As the yoshi ran away, and Escargoon nursed the big, gaping wound on Ni-Kaabi's face, Kirby wanted to know, "What was that?" King Dedede laughed, "Heh heh heh... it was a cookie. Everyone knows that yoshis can't resist cookies. That's why they also love computers." "Um.... King Dedede? I hope you have alot more cookies..." The entire tribe of yoshis were looking at them expectantly. King Dedede sighed and began to dish out his entire secret supply of cookies. The yoshis kept gobbling up the cookies, and then running after they'd had their fill. Finally, They were all gone. "There, that takes care of- oh...." King Dedede noticed that there was one yoshi left, a green one with orange plates on his neck and a saddle on his back. He was horribly thin. "Uh-oh..... I'm out of cookies!" "Buu take care of that!" said Buu, and he turned a nearby koopa troopa into a very large cookie. Buu handed the cookie to the yoshi, who ate it, and then ran. "Okay," said MK, "we must continue our-" MK had noticed a short man in red overalls watching them. He wore a red hat with an "M" on it. "Are you the ones who fed Yoshi?" he said in an Italian accent. "Yes we are." said Metaknight. "Grazie, I've been looking for him for days now, he must be starving. Can I interest you in a spaghetti lunch?" "No thanks." said Metaknight, "We really gotta get going. But could you tell us how to get out of the video game section?" "Sure, all you need to do is make it past the Pokemon and Donkey Kong section, and you're there." "Thanks!" said Miruku, "How far away is that?" "It's about a chapter's walk from here, but it may take longer if you run into trouble. Just stay on the main roads, and you should make it there by the end of this chapter." "Thank you again!" Everyone said as they left. And it was off down the road.  
  
***  
  
As our heroes walked along, they were really bored. There was nothing going on at all. If it weren't for everyone breathing, the boredom would have been unbearable. Ni-Kaabi looked up, "Dad? is there something on my back?" King Dedede looked........... and there were hundreds of bees all over his flower. "Ni-Kaabi... Don't... Move... You're being pollenated. Everyone watched as the bees sucked the nectar from his flower, and flew away when they were full. Finally, after all the bees were gone, They all settled down for a rest. Tiff was in a really bad mood, because she had found a death threat in her diary, and she couldn't figure out who did it. Her little brother made the mistake of telling her, "What's the matter, Tiff? You seem really anal-retentive today." Tiff got so mad that she kicked Tuff in the @ss as hard ass she could. As a matter of fact, she kicked him so hard that her shoe flew out of his mouth. Tiff took the opportunity to say, "Instead of 'Open mouth, insert foot', 'open mouth, spit out shoe.'" Everyone had a good laugh over that, when suddenly, a dog came out of the woods and began barking at King Dedede. "Hey! Shoo, shoo, Go away! lemme 'lone!!! scat!" The dog kept biting his clothes and trying to drag him away. "What the heck is this dog doing, anyway?" said King Dedede, swatting at the dog with a stick. "It's a bird dog." said Kirby, "It's trying to bring you back to its master." "I kind of expected it to have wings, since it's a bird dog." said Hoshi. King Dedede looked at the dog, which had grabbed the back of his coat. "Well, I'm no turkey, and I won't take this!" WHOP!!! He whipped out his hammer and smashed the dog into a puppy pancake. Tuff sat down to watch.... and realized that he had sat in an anthill. "OOH, OW, HEY! OUCH, EEE! EEK, AHH!" He thrashed around and danced until someone finally sprayed Off on the ants. After Tuff stopped thrashing, they noticed a little puddle by his feet. Needless to say, Everyone lost control right there. MK made up a song, "Watch little Tuffboy squeal and dance, Hear him squishin' in his pants!" Escargoon suddenly called from the bushes, "Hey! look at this!" Everyone came over to look. "It's a newly discovered plant! It makes you drunk if you eat it, because the plant is 70% alcohol." King Dedede rips one up and begins to eat it. "If that IS true, we'll know soon enough." He swallowed............. and instantly, his voice slurred, his eyes got all glazed, he began to stagger, and he got more relaxed. "Whoa" said Miruku, "He's really hammered." Everyone busted out laughing at his pun.  
  
***  
  
That night at the campfire, King Dedede was still swaying while he sat, holding his head. "Whoa, man *hic* why did I do that? *hic*" Escargoon said, "How does it feel to be hammered rather than being the one who does the hammering?" King Dedede bent over with his head almost touching his stomach, "Ha ha. That's the biggest joke since Celine Dion's comeback special." Ni-Kaabi was on the beach exploring. A soot sprite suddenly floats into the clearing. Miruku looked at it. "It looks like a floating cockroach" With that, he smashed the soot sprite between his hands. suddenly, a whole slew of soot sprites flew from the forest and began to attack Miruku. By the time they were done, Miruku was completely black. Everyone laughed until they heard Ni-Kaabi yell, "Guys! look what I found!" He came up the hill........ carrying a head in a jar. "Do you like it?" he said, "It's so cool!" King Dedede looked for a way to tell Ni-Kaabi to put it back. "Um.... guess what, Ni-Kaabi? If you take that..... ummmmmmm, wishing head and throw it into the water as far as you can, you get to make a wish!" So Ni-Kaabi took the head to the beach and threw it in. Then he held up a shirt. "I also found this!" he said. It was a white T-shirt with a "Mary Jane" leaf on it and the words "Legalize It" under the leaf. King Dedede didn't know what to do, except take it away and say, "That T-shirt won't fit." As they sat back around the campfire, they ate, drank, and looked at some of MK's "Playboy" magazines. MK was sleeping, so Buu gets an idea. He pulls out a marker, pulls off the cap, and draws something on MK's face. When he woke up to eat dinner, everyone started to laugh. At first, he couldn't figure out why, but then Tiff handed him a mirror, and he really freaked when he saw his face. He wiped it off and joined everyone at dinner. Nothing much else happened that night, unless you count that Buu belched a belch so loud that it caused worldwide deafness in small animals.  
  
***  
  
The next morning, it was off to get to the Pokemon section. They were packing up when they heard:  
  
"HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!"  
  
"What was that?" said Tiff. "It sounds like a desparate cry for help." said Tuff  
  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
After that last cry, everyone ran to the ditressed person's rescue. The adrenaline was pumping so hard, that you could hear a faint pulsing in the air from 3 miles away. They all ran so fast that the screnery next to them was blurry and green, like a stale booger. as thay neared the border between the Pokemon section and the Mario section, they heard the call again,  
  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
They all ran as fast as they could across the border. The noise led them to a cliff. There, they got the shock of their lives...  
  
End of chapter 2  
  
King Dedede 114: Remember the charactar contest, peoples. The best submitted charactar gets a spot in my story. I'm especially waiting for KirbsterMK, Maggie64, and Tora to give me an entry. (hint, hint.) 


	3. Pokemon Section

Chapter 3: The Pokemon section  
  
Maggie64 owns Baby Charmander. Kuyo was Marshmallowstomper's idea  
  
It was a charmander. "Cool, a talking charmander!" said Kirby. "So we meet again." Said King Dedede. Everyone looked at him, so he had to explain. "Back before Escargoon was here, she was my assistant. She left because I was mean to her. Her name is Baby Charmander." B.C. looked at King Dedede. " Not you again." she said. "And if you're looking for the Donkey Kong Section, you'll need me. The forest is way too big for you to make it alone. If you follow me, I can have you out by the end of the chapter. King Dedede looked at her. "How do we know we can trust you?" B.C. smiled. "There is a horrible monster in the woods, 20 feet tall and bearing the heads of the Osmonds. If you follow me, I can keep it away." Tiff looked skeptical, "How will you find the border? Most pokemon never leave this section." B.C. got a really smug look. "You know nothing about tracking, do you?" King Dedede got a really smug look. "Hey, I'm a glutton. I smell food, I eat it, that's my tracking." Escargoon piped up, He can also HEAR the sound of food hitting a plate." King Dedede punched him in the head. B.C. sniffed the air. "It's this way." she said, pointing south. "If we hurry, we can beat the evening rush of pokemon trainers." King Dedede lit a stick with a lighter and held it to his butt. "It's this way, if we hurry we can beat the evening rush of trainers." he mocked. Then he began to jump around and yell, because his butt was on fire. Everyone had a good laugh over that, until Escargoon put him out. "Hey, B.C.? I have a question." said Tuff, "If you fart, do flames come out? (A/N: Hey, don't blame me Maggie! Any fire-based monster is just asking for that joke!) C.B. glared. "I'm sorry, but I have to smoke you now." She shot him with flames, so that Tuff was covered in ash. "Ouch..." he said, and he fainted. B.C. looked at everyone. "Does anyone else wanna- *BURP*" She shot flames out of her mouth when she burped. Everyone absolutely DIED laughing. B.C. looked really embarrassed and said, "That's why none of my boyfriends ever took me out to eat." Tuff woke up. "I smell hotdogs!" He smelled his arm. "Oh, wait, that's me." Everyone was sitting there, waiting for dinner. Buu takes out a PCS phone and says, "Watch Buu! He make funny phone call!" He dialed a number. Here was the conversation:  
  
Guy: Hello?  
  
Buu: I looking for a Ms. Turnmeeyon, first initial "U"  
  
Guy: Hold on. Hey! I'm lookin for a Ms. Turnmeeyon, first initial U. HEY, GUYS!!! U. TURNMEEYON!!!  
  
Guys in the background: EWWWWWWWWWWWW! That's just nasty!  
  
Guy: Waitaminit! If I ever find out who this is, I'm gonna staple you to a rocket and crash you into an infectious disease center!  
  
King Dedede laughed. "Hey let me try!"  
  
Woman: Hello?  
  
KDDD: I'm lookin for Ophelia  
  
Woman: Ophelia who?  
  
KDDD: Ophelia Hiney!  
  
Woman: What the-  
  
King Dedede hung up. Kirby stood up. "My turn!"  
  
Guy: Hello?  
  
Kirby: I'm lookin for a Mr. Balls, first name Claude.  
  
Guy: Hold on. Claude Balls? HEY! ARE THERE ANY CLAUDE BALLS IN HERE?!  
  
Background guy: Only that guy with all the cats!  
  
Guy: Why you-  
  
Next, it was Tuff's turn.  
  
Woman: Hello?  
  
Tuff: I'm lookin' for a Ms. Anushertz, First name Mai.  
  
Woman: Hey, is there a Mai Anushertz? HEY!!! LOOK AT ME, MAI ANUSHERTZ!!!  
  
People in background: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Woman: Holy-  
  
Then, It was Ni-Kaabi's turn  
  
Guy: 'Lo?  
  
NK: Is there a Mrs. Tinkleonyew there? First name Ivana?  
  
Guy: Hold on. Hey bill! is there an Ivana Tinkleonyew here? HEY, BILL! GET OVER HERE! IVANA TINKLEONYEW!!!  
  
Bill: NO WAY!!!  
  
Guy: Wait-  
  
After that, they had all ran out of funny names for doing prank phone calls. They all sat around the campfire, eating. B.C. said, "We'll never make it out of here by the end of this chapter. We'll have to wait until morning to start off again. As they sat around the campfire, They talked about what they were gonna do when they got home. "I'm gonna try to finally solve the mystery as to why there are locks on the door of a hospital if they're always open!" said King Dedede. "I'm gonna try to find the secret passage to Oz!!" sais Hoshi. "I'm gonna spit in the fountain at the school!" said Ni-Kaabi. "I'm gonna pull all of Takorri's feathers out!" said Kirby. "I'm gonna cross Caocao with Mary Jane to creat Chocolate- flavored Grass!" said Tiff. "I'm going back to selling reefers behind Chief Bookum's back!" said Tuff. "I'm gonna develop a solar-powered flashlight!" said Escargoon. "Buu gonna take speech lessons!" said Buu. "I'm gonna burn up all the flamers on fanfiction.net! said B.C. (A/n: That's a good idea! flame the flamers! an eye for an eye! credit where credit is due! SUCK THEIR BRAINS OUT, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! XD [Insert thunder, lightning, and evil music.]) "Ooooookay..." said Kirby, somehow reading the author's note. "THAT was the freakiest thing I ever saw..." Hoshi came up with a great idea, "How about after we return Buu, we go on a journey to stop flaming on fanfiction.net! We can all become heroes! We'll be the most famous thing since Playboy Mansion!" "Speaking of Playboy, said Metaknight, "I still want my magazine back, Tuff." "Kiss my *ss. said Tuff. "SPANG!!!" Metaknight hit Tuff over the head with the flat side of his sword. Buu began to clap and cheer. "Buu like! do it again, or Buu cry!" Metaknight hit him again. "Hey, it makes ME happy, too!" said Metaknight. Everyone needed a break from the somberness, so they all took turns whacking Tuff with objects. King Dedede and Hoshi hammered him; Kirby, Ni-Kaabi, and Buu punched him; Tiff whacked him with her diary, B.C. hit him with her tail, Escargoon beat him with a test tube. By the time they were done with Tuff, he was cross-eyed, and he was mumbling Enron's mission statement. Everyone then settled down to talk, while Tuff recovered from his concussion. As they were eating and talking, they were not aware that deep in the woods, down by a river, behind a rock, and under an old scrub elm, there was someone waiting for them. Someone with an interesting tie to Metaknight. Someone with a tie to metaknight so shocking, horrible, scandalous, and embarrassing on Metaknight's part, someone who- Suddenly, everyone on fanfiction.net turns around and yells, JUST GET ON WITH IT! YOU'VE BEEN YAPPIN' FOR THREE WHOLE LINES!!! So I prepare to go on. But anyway, his tie to metaknight is so utterly- this time, everyone reading the story ties me up, gags me with a tennis ball taped in the mouth, and hides me in a closet, leaving my stuffed King Dedede to tell the story.  
  
***  
  
Hi! I'm the previously mentioned stuffed King Dedede! On with the story! Anyway, Hidden in the woods, there was a little green kirby in the bushes who seemed to be really concentrated on his thoughts. Frankly, I think only ONE Kirby is enough and- (A reader is standing behind him with a baseball bat) Ahem, to get on with it, The kid was sitting there, thinking deeply about something, unlike the little pink pansy I hate so much and- Don't hit me! I'll stop! He was a little green kirby with black feet and cheeks, and a black bandanna on his head. The kid looks up with his HUGE hazel eyes and says, "Daddy's in the forest! and off the kid went.  
  
***  
  
Back at the camp, everyone was sleeping. It was all quiet, until Tiff heard the bushes rustle. She sat up. as she went outside, everyone else did too. Suddenly.... The little green kirby came out of the bushes. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sh*t..." said Metaknight.  
  
Stuffed King Dedede: So did you like it? I think I told it well if I do say so myself! Stick around for the next chapter! 


	4. Pokemon Section part 2

Chapter 4: Pokemon Section Continues  
  
Stuffed King Dedede: KingDedede114 does not own anything trademarked or invented by another person in this story.  
  
Metaknight looked like someone had just shot him. The little green Kirby was standing there smiling at them. My living counterpart, King Dedede, clapped his hand over his eyes and sank to the ground. "Just what I need. Another marshmallow thingy. Ni-Kaabi laughed. "He looks like Kirby! Only he's green!" Tiff looked at it funny and said, "It acts as if it knows us." Tuff noticed that THIS puffball had actual hands instead of paws. Just like Metaknight. Escargoon beckoned to it. "Hey, kid! What're you doing alone in the forest? It's dangerous!" "I'm here to find Daddy!" It said in a high- pitched voice. "Daddy?" said Kirby. "Who do you mean?" said Miruku, casting a slight glance at Kirby. "Him!" said the LGK pointing at Metaknight. "Ummmmm.... Been a while, hasn't it? said MK. King Dedede turned to his knight. "Is there something you haven't told me?" B.C. Looked at him. "Yep. Somethin' big, Triple D." Metaknight looked reall y embarrassed and had to explain.  
  
***  
  
Flashback: Metaknight is at a bar. He's clearly wasted and is hitting on a girl next to him. She likes it, so they leave the bar together, go to the star warriors' camp, into metaknight's tent, close the flap, turn out the light and...  
  
***  
  
At this part, Metaknight trailed off and said, I'd better not tell that part. B.C. Spoke up, "You mean the part where you get freaky in the tent?" Metaknight ignored her and continued his story.  
  
***  
  
shows Metaknight talking to the girl. She now has the green kirby with her, just a baby and Metaknight explains how the troops are moving on and he has to leave. He kisses her before he goes.  
  
***  
  
Metaknight couldn't look up. He ended with, "I was gonna marry her, but after that, I never saw her again. King Dedede had one eyebrow raised. "THIS is a side of you I've never seen before. I kinda expected you to have had a wife back at home. I'm gonna go take a bath in the pond." King Dedede stalked off into the trees. They all sat down to wait for him. Hoshi was sitting there, crumpling paper into little balls and putting them aside. "What Hoshi doing?" said Buu. "I'm doing origami! This one's a ball! And so is that one, and that one... "Buu wanna do it too!" said Buu, and he sits down and begins to crumple the paper. Tiff was sitting there with a bunch of little voodoo dolls of people she knew. They heard her yell, "WHAT IN THE BLUE F--- WAS THAT?!?!?!" Tuff looked at her as everybody gasped. "What're ya doin', Tiff?" Tiff smiled. "I'm acting out "The Green Mile" with people I know! Escargoon just went to the chair!" Escargoon got a look. Tuff shook his head and muttered the word "Dumb*ss" Tiff grabbed him by the pants, whipped him around, and gave him a vicious wedgie so bad that it made him look like his pants were specially made to have a butt crack. "Sorry..." said Tuff. There was a rustle in the bushes. Once again, Tiff went all Jackie Chan on it, kicking it hard in the netherregions. Then they saw who it was. King Dedede was standing there naked, and Tiff had just kicked him squarely in the place where the sun doesn't shine. "Do you have any clothes, Escargoon?" he said, in a voice so high that if it were any higher, only dogs could hear it. Ni-Kaabi got mad. "You hurt my dad!!" He said, and he switched to water ability and hit Tiff with a water ball. Meanwhile, Escargoon had gotten King Dedede the only thing that would fit him besides his coat, which had been stolen down at the pond. It was a Hawaiian shirt that was yellow with purple palm trees on it. Escargoon beckoned to Miruku. "C'mere, kid, I wanna teach you how to mix potions. When Ni-Kaabi takes his dad's place, you gotta know how to be a top-notch flunky. He led Miruku to where he was mixing potions. He points out two potions, a red one and a blue one. Now even I know that something bad will come out of this innocent child's encounter with my stupid- (That kid is still standung behind him with the baseball bat.)... Anyway, Escargoon showed the kid the two potions and said, "Okay, first of all, you NEVER wanna mix these two potions right here. They will cause a white foam to come bubbling out of the test tube, and cause you to laugh insanely due to the fact that it tickles skin.This gave Miruku an idea. After the lesson was over, they went to lunch, with Miruku toting both potions.....  
  
***  
  
That night at dinner, They were all eating their hotdogs by the fire. Ni- Kaabi bit into his... then began to laugh insanely and foam at the mouth. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HE HAS RABIES!!!" yelled Tiff. They all jumped and ran, trying to get away from the "rabid" penguin.In the confusion, King Dedede snapped the tentpoles in someone's tent, Kirby accidentally set a sleeping bag on fire when he tipped over a lantern, Tiff and Tuff trampled all of their hotdogs, Hoshi started singing about it, Miruku was trying not to laugh, MK broke his sword trying to get away, Buu wet himself, The little green kirby, who had no name, was crying, B.C. Burned a few people, and Escargoon almost fell into the campfire.... until he remembered to potions. "Hold it!" he said. Calmly, he went an got Ni-Kaabi a glass of water. "Okay, swish with this, but don't swallow." he said. Ni-Kaabi did, and he quit foaming. Escargoon walked over to Miruku and began to yell at him. "I HOPE YOU HAD FUN, CUZ NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY THE SAME PRICE AS YOUR FRIEND!!!!!" And with that, Escargoon put the bottle in his mouth and held it shut. "COME ON, DRINK IT!!! YOU DESERVE THIS, YOU LITTLE SH*T!!!" Miruku continued to struggle. "IT WON'T KILL YOU TO SWALLOW, SO DRINK UP, YOU LITTLE INGRATE!!!" Miruku finally was forced to drink the entire bottle. Instantly, he began to POUR foam, as if he's eaten an entire box of baking soda. Escargoon smiled. "THAT'S why I told Ni-KKaabi not to swallow. When this stuff reacts to stomach acid, it foams up like mad." After about 30 minutes of this, Escargoon turned to King Dedede and asked, "Do you think he's learned his lesson?" King Dedede smiled slyly. "Yep, I'm pretty sure he won't try THAT again." So Escargoon gave him the antidote. They all continued to talk around the campfire, when they heard Hoshi still singing about Ni-Kaabi:  
  
Rabies scare! Be aware, Foamy, foamy, drool with air! Rabies is a fun hobby! He was a half-baked penguin named Ni-Kaabi! Rabies scare! Be aware, Foamy, foamy, drool with-  
  
King Dedede threw his hammer at her. "Cool it, Hoshi! The kid's suffered enough for one night without being made fun of." Metaknight heard the mexican hat dance being played. "Ooh!! I love this song!" he said. And the mexican starwarrior began to do the mexican hat dance around a hat he'd drawn in the dirt. So he was dancing around, going, "Da da da da da da da da-da! Da da da da da da da da-da! Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da!" while everyone watched him. Suddenly, MK did something no one expected. "Da da- BURP!!!!" Ni-Kaabi laughed. "I can do a better one! BURRRP!!!!" Tuff put in his own two bits. "burp!" Tiff scoffed. "Puny! BWORP! Miruku spoke up. "That is the most disgusti- BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAPPP!!!" Ni-Kaabi laughed. "Miruku wins! he said. Miruku looked smug and said, "Well, it is fun." Meanwhile, Metaknight was wearing his dress again. He had just repaired his broken sword. the star warrior waved it around and cut the air.... plus the straps on his dress, so that he was naked in front of everyone. King Dedede once again lost all control right there. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed so hard that a whole flock of pidgey flew away. MK got mad. "Take this!!!" he said, and rushed at King Dedede with the blade of his sword. King Dedede moved, but MK just kept going. He noticed Ni-Kaabi in his way. Before he could stop, he felt his blade sink into Ni-Kaabi's soft stomach. Ni-Kaabi felt the wound, looked at the blood, then began to wail, as if he just had a scraped knee. King Dedede was frantic. "HOLY CRAP, WHERE'S MIRUKU?!?!?!" MK was trying to apologize to the penguin chick, who continued to wail loudly. The way he was crying, you'd think it was just a scraped knee. So when Miruku heard Ni-Kaabi crying, he took his time, thinking that Ni-Kaabi just had a minor injury. But when he saw the bright red stain on that sash thingy like King Dedede wears, he went right to work. Since this wound was worse than a stomachache, it took about three minutes to heal it. MK was so guilty over stabbing a kid, that it took all night for Kirby to convince him that it was okay. aqnd King Dedede screaming at him that he "could've killed the boy" didn't help. Ni-Kaabi was okay after he healed. He even played a little bit with the little green kirby. That's when Kirby thought of something. "Hey! Metaknight! If that kid's gonna come with us, he needs a name! Buu put in his two cents worth. "Buu like 'Buu Junior!'" "Nope." said MK Buu pouted. Kirby thought. "How about 'MetaKid?'" MK REALLY didn't like that one. King Dedede thought for a moment. "It has to start with 'K'" he said. "That I agree with." said MK. "Kirk"? said Escargoon. "Nuh uh." said MK. "Krackpot?" said Hoshi. "No way." "Kelly?" said Miruku. "He's a boy!" "Krazy?" said Tiff. "NO!" "Krap?" said Tuff. "FOR THE LAST TIME, NO VULGAR WORDS!" Ni-Kaabi thought. "Hey! since baby kirby's always say, 'Puyo' and his name needs to start with a 'K'..... 'Kuyo!'" MK started to protest. Ni-Kaabi saw this, crossed his arms and said, "I'll cry!" So MK said, "Okay, okay, Kuyo it is! They were all thinking of something to do. "I know!" said Kirby. "We can play a new version of Pinata! One person holds the candy, while the others beat him with sticks until he forfeits it!" King Dedede raised one eyebrow. "And who was gonna hold the candy?" Kirby shuffled his feet. "Welllll....... I kinda figured you could...." King Dedede raised his eyebrow as high as it would go. "Uh huh. I pretty much figured I'd come off as the pinata in this game. The last time we were all together like this, we played 'Pin the tail on the heaviest person' and guess who that was? Plus you lied to me about using tape. Those thumbtacks f------ hurt!" Tiff thought for a moment. Why don't we dance? "Ooh! ooh! I can hula!" said Hoshi. She began to do a funny dance that looked more like something on a rap video than hula. "I know hula is really telling a story with your hands, but what's that?" said B.C. Hoshi laughed. "I'm acting out 'Scary Movie'" "That explains all the vulgar and violent movements" said Tuff. Buu piped up. "Buu know how to dirty dance!" and with that, Buu began to do a vulgar dance. King Dedede just had to ask. "Where did you learn that?" Buu stopped. "Buu learn dance from girl at club where Hercule go!" King Dedede got a look like this: -_-; MK just had to make the situation even worse. "I liked the hula better, and even that wasn't that go- Hoshi sprang on him and tied him up with her bow. She stood back to admire her handiwork. "Nope." she said, "It doesn't look good on you at all. Give it back." and with that, Hoshi untied him and put her bow back on. "Why don't we each tell a secret about ourselves?" said Escargoon. "I'll start. Did anyone here know that I have flukes?" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!" everyone said. (A/N: Flukes are a parasite found in snails.) King Dedede went next. "I once locked myself out of the castle wearing nothing but my hat." Everyone busted out laughing. Kirby confessed, I once set myself on fire to imitate something I saw on "Jack*ss" Hoshi was next to narc on herself. "I'm possessed by the ghosts of Chris Farley, Elvis Presley, and Mae West." Ni- Kaabi spoke up. "I can break my tail off and grow a new one instantly." Tuff went next. "I play strip poker with three other cappies every Thursday." B.C.: "I once fried a programmer of fanfiction.net." Tiff: "I- What was that?" They all looked into the bushes.... and there was a charizard standing there. It gave a roar and charged at them.  
  
End of chapter 4  
  
Stuffed King Dedede: Once again, My owner asks you to please review this story. And don't forget the 7 others on this website! 


	5. Donkey Kong Section

Chapter 5: Our heroes screamed and ran like hell. They were only concerned with getting out of there. Suddenly, B.C. turns around and speaks to the charizard. "Dad, I thought I told you not to scare my friends like that!" The charizard stopped and grinned. "Sorry, I just couldn't resist." "While you're here, you big dummy, you can tell us where the Donkey Kong section is. "We're already in it." Said Daddy Charizard. "Oh. Thank you!" and off they went.  
  
***  
  
Our heroes walked through the jungle at a pace slow enough to put Escargoon's mama to shame. "Be careful!" said Kirby, "If we step on a snake we could get-" They heard a loud slap, and King Dedede hit the ground. "- slapped. That was an Amazonian Fighting Snake. They aren't poisonous, but they will give you a nasty slap in the face." King Dedede rubbed the swollen red mark on his face. "Methinks the writer may be going a little bit loco." They continued to walk and walk until they saw a little gorilla in a hat. He was fighting another gorilla with little pigtails. King Dedede couldn't resist cracking one of his famous bad puns. "Ooh, look! Gorillla warfare." You could almost hear the drum thingy. The two gorillas turned around and looked at him. The one in the hat said, "Hey, Cindy? Aren't blue penguins native to the Kirby section?" "I think so, Diddy" said Cindy Kong. "Then what the hell is he doing here?" Suddenly, Buu steps forward. "He and his friends taking Buu back to Dragonball Z section." Diddy Kong looked at him funny, "And I thought your kind was native to the DBZ Section! Tiff did the talking, "Can you lead us to the Anime subsection? we're lost." Diddy Kong nodded. "I can, but you'd better set up camp for the night. It gets dangerous in the jungle at night." So our heroes set up camp in the clearing nearest to them. They were swapping stories and eating their snacks, when Ni-Kaabi suddenly said, "Dad, I heard a noise." King Dedede went out to investigate. "Whatever it is, it's gone now." He came back and sat back down...... right in a moldy banana. The whole clearing exploded in laughter. King Dedede blushed bright red and glared at his son, who began to yall, "Kirby did it, Kirby did it!" So King Dedede whips out his mallet and chases after Kirby as fast as he can. Kirby was dodging various things strung around the camp, while King Dedede just bulldozed over them.The chase finally ended when King Dedede tripped over a tree root and broke his wrist. "GAAAAAAAAAAH! SONOFA-" Watch your mouth young man! said Hoshi. Tuff looked at King Dedede's swollen purple wrist. "It looks pretty bad." he said, "We'd better set the bone and wrap it fast before the nerves come out of shock and it starts to hurt again." Metaknight turned to Diddy Kong, "Do you know where there's a doctor around here?" Cindy told him. "There's a doctor just outside the jungle. Just keep going west." Metaknight turned to the party, "Kirby, Ni-Kaabi, Kuyo, and Buu, come with me. B.C., Hoshi, Tiff, Tuff, Miruku and Escargoon, stay here and make sure he doesn't try to move it." And the five set off to find the doctor.  
  
***  
  
Our heroes were in the forest looking for the path. They were following Cindy's directions, and were making great progress. Metaknight was leading, Buu and Ni-Kaabi flanked Kuyo, and Kirby hung back. Mk was looking around for some kind of path, but he knew that it would be more overgrown than Austin Power's chest hair. Ni-Kaabi looked around. "Is there anything to eat?" he said. Buu took up the call. "Buu hungry too!" Kuyo and Kirby started up too. MK got mad. "Shut the f*** up! King Dedede is hurt, and all you guys care about is when we're gonna eat!" So they walked on through the woods. They soon came to an overgrown path. MK smiled under his mask. "We found it! and they walked on. The jungle was full of sounds. A monkey screeched, a jaguar killed a guy, someone farted. The party continued on through the forest, trying not to bring up the fact that whoever farted smelled like a dead clown. Kirby thought he heard something behind him. He turned around and saw a HUGE gorilla with a tie looking at them.....  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, back at the campsite, King Dedede's nerves had gone out of shock and the wrist was the size of a grapefruit, purple, and very painful. The large penguin winced as Tiff tried to make sure that there were no blood clots. "We need to keep his circulation going." said Tiff, "If the blood clots, he could lose his hand." King Dedede had his eyes squeezed shut. "I wish they would hurry and get back. It feels like I have one giant water balloon for a wrist." Tiff got an idea. "If we had some leeches, we could keep his circulation going and keep him from losing his hand to a blood clot." King Dedede shuddered. "Is that the only way? I don't like the idea of one of those slimy little boogerballs on my wrist." Hoshi grinned. "If you do lose your hand, I can have it stuffed and mounted." King Dedede got a look. "I'll take the leeches." Tiff turned to Escargoon. "Go get some leeches from one of the mudholes. They won't bite you because I don't think they like snail blood." Escargoon slid off into the trees. Tiff turned to King Dedede. "I'll have to set that bone the right way." she grabbed his wrist, tied a bandanna around his beak, and stuck a thick stick in his mouth. "Now, If you want to scream, bite down on the stick as hard as you can." King Dedede nodded, but he looked really scared. Tiff took his wrist in both hands and began to twist it around. King Dedede was biting the stick as hard as he could. Tiff heard a "pop" and then stopped. she pressed on the bone, then splinted it and wrapped it up. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" She untied King Dedede's beak and took the stick out. It was almost bitten through. King Dedede looked at her, "The only other time I ever felt pain like that was when I ate the bad clams at Chef Kawasaki's restaraunt. It was really painful that time, but at least it sped through my digestive tract at 300 MPH. Tiff looked back at Diddy and Cindy. "Do you think they're lost? Diddy smiled. "Not if they stayed on the path!" B.C. looked off into the trees, and saw Escargoon coming back. He looked really scared. "Tiff" he said, "There's a jaguar outside the camp!"  
  
***  
  
Our party of heroes were ruinning through the jungle as fast as they possibly could, trying not to get caught by the hulking gorilla that was following them. They were tearing through the trees like food tears through Kirby if he has diarrhea. MK was yelling for some kind of sanity, and for the boys to stop running from it. "STOP RUNNING, STOP RUNNING!!! HE'S ONLY CHASING US BECAUSE WE'RE RUNNING FROM HIM, STOP FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!!" Everyone continued to run. MK was still yelling, Fat Buu was screaming as he flew, Ni-Kaabi was screaming for his dad, as was Kuyo, and Kirby was so scared, he'd reverted to yelling, "Poyo, Poyo!" The gorilla was yelling something. "YOO FER GOD YORE WALL ED!!!" "What is he saying?" said MK. "YOU FORGOT YOUR WALL ED!" "Whose Ed?" said Kirby. "YOU FORGOT YOUR WALLET!" Everyone screeched to a halt and checked their pockets. MK was missing his wallet. The giant ape gave him his wallet. "Thanks." said MK, "What's your name?" "Donkey Kong." said the ape. MK turned to him and asked, "Could you lead us to the doctor?" Donkey Kong nodded. "I know the way." and off they went.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, back at the camp, Tiff was helping King Dedede up. "Run to the tent, but don't move that wrist. We'll hold off the big kitty." King Dedede, for once in his life, did as he was told. The rest of them were watching the big cat decide who to eat first. Tiff got a thought. "He'll pick the fattest person! If he already saw King Dedede, he's doomed because he must look like a giant slab of meat to that jaguar!" She yelled to King Dedede, "Don't run! he'll chase you! stay in the tent!" Tiff turned to the others. "Stay together, he knows he can't take all of us at once. The jaguar pounced......... right over them and headed for King Dedede's tent. Everyone screamed, realizing that if he was gone, they'd have no protection. suddenly, a giant ape with a tie snatched the cat out of the air and broke its neck. King Dedede came out of the tent, where the doctor met him, and was able to get a cast on the wrist. Donkey Kong turned to the group. "Tomorrow, I'll escort you out of the jungle. I'll take you as far as the Hamtaro section. Everyone bid each other good night and went to sleep.  
  
Unbeknownst to them, they were being watched.  
  
End Chapter 5  
  
King Dedede 114: Okay, I finally got out of the chair! I need one more charactar, and If it's okay with Tora, I'd like to use Esolie. 


	6. Romantic filler

Chapter 7  
  
Esolie belongs to Tora. She's not mine.  
  
King Dedede lay in his tent cradling his broken wrist like it was a baby. He was beginning to wonder about who sent him the letter. Little did he know she was closer than he thought....  
  
***  
  
Outside, Kirby was talking to Hoshi. "The truth is, I don't think we're right for each other. I mean, you're insane, I'm normal, you like grape jelly, I like peach, you're back to front, I'm front to back, and you're Jerry, I'm Tom." Hoshi sighed. "That's a relief." "What do you mean, that's a relief?!" said Kirby. Hoshi began to explain. "The truth is, I was already after King Dedede, so I used you to make him jealous. It didn't work, so I only followed you out here because I was gonna dump YOU." Kirby smiled sheepishly "That's okay, because all this time I had a crush on somebody else. Someone who won't scare me in our room with a chainsaw at three in the morning after I watch "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" the night before." Hoshi looked interested. "Ooh. who is it?" Kirby looked around the clearing to make sure nobody was up. His crush wasn't too surprising, it was very predictable, and completely understandable, but kindf of sick since his crush was 4 years older than he was. Kirby leaned forward. "I think I have a crush on Tiff." Hoshi giggled. "Ooh! you know who Tuff has a crush on? That little cappy slut who's always wearing the really short mini skirts that go up to the bottom of her butt, and the thong underwear not thicker than a piece of yarn in the back. That's not all, I hear she's like the first motorcycle in cappy town." "What do you mean?" said Kirby "Everyone's had a ride on her!!!" Hoshi held back the forceful gales of laughter that threatened to burn her beak off due to the force if she let them go. then she managed to gain control. "Rumor has it she was mixing hard liquor at the tavern when she was only five!" Kirby laughed. "Ooh, ooh! Did you know Escargoon has a giiiiiiiiiiiirlfriend? I saw him writing to her on his computer! Her name is Esolie and they were childhood friends!" Kirby giggled. "Oh, and Mabel, Chef Kawasaki, and the mayor are all in a love triangle!" They bot began to laugh like little girls until the both of them calmed down. "So how are you going to approach Tiff?" said Hoshi. "I'm not sure. I might not even do it." Kirby said sheepishly. He brightened. "How are YOU gonna approach King Dedede? Hoshi grinned slyly. "Watch."  
  
***  
  
King Dedede, in the meantime, was trying to ignore the little pains in his wrist. That's when he saw the tent flap open. Hoshi was holding a glass of tea. "Hello, King Dedede. Are you thirsty?" The way Hoshi looked at him clearly said that she had intentions other than giving him the glass of tea, and he was pretty sure he knew what they were. she helped him up and handed him the glass. King Dedede drank it. It didn't taste poisoned, but he had been really thirsty. Maybe it was gratitude, maybe it was delerium, since he really had to pee and couldn't get up, but hoshi looked really, REALLY attractive right there. Hoshi continued to look at him in that odd way. Then she struck, and the two of them spent the next four hours kissing like two insane guppies.  
  
***  
  
When Hoshi came out, Kirby wanted to know just what was in that tea. "Whatever that was, It had to be pretty powerful!" Hoshi grinned. "There was nothing in that tea." "Then how did you do it?" said Kirby. "You know how they say the best way to a guy's heart is his stomach? I knew that had to be especially true for him.  
  
End Chapter 7 


	7. LupinIII section

Chapter 7: Lupin III section.  
  
Author's note: I have just started watching Lupin III, so bear with me if I get something wrong. Also, I just found out that it's Tiny Kong, not Cindy Kong.  
  
"Here you are." Said Tiny. "I'm sorry, but The author Isn't sure how to write you guys into the hamtaro section, so We had to take you to the Lupin III section." King Dedede gave a little nod. "Thank you. We'll be sure to thank you in some way." Kuyo grinned "I'll miss ya!" Everyone waved goodbye and began to make their way throught the Lupin III section. As they walked, Kirby got a thought. "Hey, where are we going to camp? There's no woods here!" "We could camp out in front of a video game store, I hear that a new Dragonball Z game is coming out." said Tuff. "No, Tuff!" said Tiff, "Then everyone would think we're a bunch of crazed fanboys!" Buu was thinking. Suddenly, MK said, "do you hear something?" "That's the least of our worries!" said BC Ni-Kaabi looked up the road. "There's a man coming up the road." No one heard him. Escargoon thought of something. "We could stay in the hospital overnight if one of us broke a leg." Everyone looked at King Dedede. "I am NOT breaking my leg." he said, "I already have a broken wrist! What are you trying to do? Turn me into a quadrepalegic? Buu corrected him. "It 'Parapelegic.' Quadrepalegic have all limbs no work, parapelegic have two limbs no work." Hoshi rolled her eyes. "WhatEVER!" Then she started to sing that song.  
  
(Spoken) ~Oh, my god, Becky, look at her butt! It's like so big! She looks like one of those rock stars' girlfriends! Yeah, It's just out ther! (Sung) I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny! And when a girl walks in with a itty-bitty waist And da round thing in your face you get-  
  
King Dedede looked at her affectionately and said, "Hoshi, there's three young children out here. You shouldn't sing that." Tiff noticed that look. "Kirby, I thought she was dating you!" Kirby gave her the same look, and said, "We broke up. I've got eyes for someone else now." Tiff caught his drift, and batted her eyes at him. Hoshi stopped singing and patted Ni- Kaabi on the head. "I'm sorry, little guy, did I corrupt you?" Ni-Kaabi looked very uneasy. "No..." By now,everyone knew that something was amiss. MK said, under his breath, "I think the king is in love." Suddenly, ythey see a long-haired man in a kimono walking up the road. "Hi!" said Ni-Kaabi. The man didn't even look up. "Hey sir, can you tell us where a hotel is?" said Kirby, finally seeing the obvious. Still, the man didn't even look up. "That's pretty suspicious." said MK, "That man can't be deaf!" "How do you know?" said Kuyo. "Because he's wearing headphones, Kuyo." MK turned to the rest of them and said, "King Dedede, Kirby, Escargoon, and Buu come with me. Kuyo, Miruku, Hoshi, Tiff, BC, Tuff, and Ni-Kaabi stay here. We need to leave at least 5 people behind." "Why?" said Tiff. "In case we are killed." "Yeah? well how come no women get to come?" said BC. "Because, SOMEONE needs to take care of the kids if we are killed, and women are better at it. I'm even leaving Kuyo here in case that guy is a murderer." Everyone nodded and went their separate ways.  
  
***  
  
Tiff was at the hotel desk. "We need a room for seven people." she said. The hotel clerk looked at her. "We have the 'Family Suite'. It houses up to 10 people." Tuff took out her money. "We'll take that one, how much?" The clerk told her. "$399.99" Tiff's face fell. She only had $40. She was about to tell him to forget it, when a man in a red coat, black shirt, and jeans with short black hair walked up and put a credit card on the desk. He winked at Tiff. "I'll pay for her." The clerk took the card and told them where their room was. "The bellhop will pick up your bags." Before they left, Tiff Turned to the man. "I want to thank you for paying for our room." The man winked at her again. "Just call me 'Lupin' little lady. And don't mention it, I can take care of it." Tiff wanted to ask him something. "How are you able to afford that?" Lupin smiled at her. "Stolen credit card. I'm a con artist." Tiff was taken aback. "Then why did you help me?" Lupin grinned slyly and said, "Because I think you're cute." Tiff gave him a look. "Thanks, but I'm already attached." Lupin gave her the same look. "That's okay, so am I. I'm attracted to EVERY girl I see unless they are REAL dogs." Tiff waved. "Nice meeting you!" And they parted.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, MK, King Dedede, Kirby, Buu, and Escargoon were following the man in the kimono. he finally turned around. "Who the hell are you?" Kirby was first to talk. "I'm Kirby, and these are my friends Metaknight, King Dedede, Escargoon, and Majin Buu. Kimono man gave them a small smile. "My name is Goemon" Goemon turned and motioned back to the city. "I'm trying to outrun the police because I stole a box of hemmorhoid cream from a pharmacy for Jigen. "Who's Jigen?": said Escargoon. "He's my partner in crime, along with Lupin III. We travel the country, stealing things." Suddenly, they hear a siren. King Dedede smiled. "Thank goodness we're not in a ship. Otherwise we'd crash it on the rocks because of their beautiful music." Suddenly, In a puff of silvery pink and blue smoke, The author appears. "Not that kind of siren! I'm talking about the ones on a police car!" "Oh." said King Dedede. Then the police car appeared over the hill. "They need to replace it if it's that old." said Escargoon. I slapped my face. "NO!!! I MEAN IT APPEARED AS IT WAS DRIVING TO THE TOP!!!" Goemon looked mad. "Aw, sh*t! We gotta get outta here!" 'Why?" said King Dedede. "Just shut up and run! said Goemon. So they all ran, with the cop in hot pursuit.  
  
***  
  
Tiff and the rest of the girls and children had made their way to their room. "We're here! said Tiff. As they were unlocking the door, Tiff hears a familiar voice. "HEY, TIFF!" It was Lupin. Tiff waved to him. "Hi, Lupin!" Lupin unlocked the room next to them. "I had no idea your room was next to ours!" he said. "OURS?" said Tiff. "Yeah, two of my friends are staying with us! Goemon should be here in a minute, but Jigen is getting some snacks from the lobby." Suddenly, a man with a pointy, curvy beatrd walked up to him. "Hey, Jigen, how's your hemmorhoids doing?" Jigen looked embarrassed. While they were talking, Hoshi whispered to Tiff. "Whose the guy? I thought you were dating Kirby." "I am." said Tiff, "He's just the guy who paid for our room." As they went in, the three boys were having thoughts about this. "I think Hoshi is coming on to me." thought Ni-Kaabi. "I wonder if Tiff is a female player." thought Miruku." I wonder if Daddy is gonna bring me a present!" thought Kuyo. "Oh, man, oh, mam ,oh, man, I'm in a room with 2 women who aren't my sister! I'm surprised I'm not having the boner from hell!"  
  
***  
  
Goemon and the rest were riding in the back of the police car. They had been caught almost as soon as they were off the hill. King Dedede was worrying about how they were gonna know what happened to them, when he noticed that somebody was missing. "Hey, has anyone seen Buu?" Everyone looked around. No Buu. "Oh, please tell the girls what happened."  
  
***  
  
The girls, the kids, Lupin, and Jigen were all in one room, watching "Scary Movie." Tuff had two handprints on his face from when he tried to hit on Hoshi and BC. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. BC opened it and Buu came running in. "Buu's friends arrested!" he yelled, "And some guy named Goemon!" Lupin looked at Jigen, then turned to everyone else. "I have a plan."  
  
End chapter 7 


	8. Lupin III section part 2

Chapter 8: Lupin III section, part 2  
  
"Here's the plan" said Lupin, "We go down to the prison, okay? Ni-Kaabi can get into a fight, get sick and start moaning-" Wait!" said Tiff, "How did you know Ni-Kaabi gets sick after a hard fight?" Lupin grinned. "The author implanted the knowledge in my head to save time." Tiff looked amazaed. "I didn't know King-Dedede114 had powers!" Ni-Kaabi told her different. "She doesn't, if you're the author of a fanfic, you have the power to abuse, enlighten, and injure all the charactars you write about." Suddenly, in a cloud of silvery pink and blue smoke, I appeared again. "You rotten little brat! I would kill you off if you weren't in all my Kirby fics!" Ni-Kaabi stuck his tongue out at me. "Yeah, so what are YOU gonna do about it?" I fired an electricity ball at him, shocking him into a hazy stupor, then turned to my charactars. "Let this be a lesson to all of you! ALL WHO OPPOSE KING-DEDEDE114, LORD OF THE COMICS, MUST DIE!!! AH- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (Insert lighning bolt and clap of thunder here.) And in another burst of silvery pink and blue smoke, I disappeared. Lupin blinked twice. There was an embarrassing pause, then he continued. "The guards will all see how bad he is and call 911. at the same time, Tiff will pretend to be a prison nurse, and bring King Dedede some aspirin with a message of what he is to do to make the plan work. Outside, we will send B.C. in with a bobby pin, to pick the lock, inside disguised as a prison guard. There will only be one man working the desk, and we can take care of him by having Hoshi knock him out from behind after coming in and pretending to be a janitor. After they get out, the alarm will not sound, since the door was unlocked and not kicked in. Tuff will come in with prison guard uniforms in a doctor bag, pretending to be a doctor, and will tell anyone who asks that he needs to see a patient due to an emergency situation, and leave, while King Dedede and the others put on the uniforms. They will all wait until the fire alarm, pulled by Kuyo, goes off. Once outside, buu will temporarily turn them all into candy, while the captives will escape out the back way." "What if the guards come to get the prisoners?" said Tiff. Lupin winked at her. "We'll be in the back halls by then. Miruku will be posing as a janitor, and will have already dragged the KO'ed guard into the soundproof restaint room and locked him in. He will tell them that the bathroom-bound guard has already ushered them out, leaving us open to escape." "Won't they notice Kirby and the others don't work here?" asked B.C.. "Lupin smiled at her. "This prison is so big, that not one of the guards knows every guard. as long as they scatter and slip out at different ways, then meet at the appointed place, then our plan will go perfectly." "Where's the appointed place?" said Tuff. "That alley behind the doughnut shop across the street." he looked at the clock. "We'll put our plan into action at noon.  
  
***  
  
It was 11:59 in the prison. Goemon and the Kirby gang were sitting in the cell, moping. The prison guards were talking among themselves, and since only King Dedede and the rest were pending trial, they were the only ones on this block. The clock on the desk beeped the arrival of lunch, and there was a knock on the door. A man stepped in and called to the guards. "I need you all to come here, we have a kid whoi might've been the victim of medical malpractice." "How do you know?" said one guard. "I've never seen an illness like this." said the man. He pointed to the man at the desk. "McCallister, you stay here." and off the guards went.  
  
***  
  
King Dedede knew that something was going down. Even a malpractice case had known symptoms.....  
  
***  
  
A blonde girl in a nurses uniform walked in. "I've got aspirin for a mister Dedede." The guard looked at her. "I didn't approve that!" She thought for a split second. "He needs it for his heart, he has heart disease." And she was waved on down to the cell.  
  
***  
  
King Dedede almost shouted when he saw Tiff come in. She opened the bottle and handed the note to him. "Don't let the guard see this! eat it after you've read it." After she was gone, he read the note.  
  
King Dedede! at 12:10, Hoshi and B.C. will come in. After Hoshi knocks the  
guard out,  
B.C. will unlock the cell. Stay inside with the door closed until Tuff  
comes in and hands you the prison uniforms in his doctor bag. When you hear the fire alarm,  
stay inside until you hear all the guys quit yelling. Then run out the back, into the  
alley behind the  
doungnut shop. Ni-Kaabi will join us 5 minutes after we arrive.  
  
King Dedede Memorized the plan, then whispered it to everyone before eating the note.  
  
***  
  
A janitor walked into the block, holding a mop. "I gotta clean up the floor" she said. As she was mopping, a prison guard walked in and began to talk to the guard behind the desk. She had charmed him into carelessnesss, so he didn't notice the janitor beind him with a large hammer. "Listen," he said to the female guard. "If you're not-" *CRACK!* Hoshi had whacked him over the head with her hammer, so hard that he'd be out for at least 6 hours.  
  
***  
  
Tuff came running in and handed them the prison uniforms. he was loitering around, when King Dedede asked him, "What are you doing?" Tuff looked around. "Takin' in the scenery." King Dedede looked at him and cocked his head. "Don't you think you need to get out now?" Tuff leaned back. "All in good time." There was a three minute pause. King Dedede was getting irritated. "Tuff?" "Yes?" "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!" The yell was so loud that for about 2 seconds, they saw Tuff's eyes. Tuff bolted off as fast as kids in a hot room after someone has farted. The fire alarm sounded.  
  
***  
  
All over the prison, guards were running around, letting prisoners out. they were all running to the doors, when someone yelled, "STAY INSIDE!!!" there was a shower of jawbreakers at the door, but since everyone was being pushed by the person behind him, they all were pushed outside, where they were promptly turned into candy.  
  
***  
  
King Dedede, Kirby, MK, Escargoon, and Goemon were all running as fast as they could down the halls. King Dedede was hurrying them on. As they were running, They heard a taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap! MK spoke up. "What's that sound?" King Dedede told him. "It's jawbreakers hitting the parking lot." Kirby looked curious. "How can you tell?" King Dedede grinned. "Because chocolate bars don't tap!" then he busted out laughing. Kirby sweatdropped. "I'll give you 10 bucks never to say that again." Okay! said King Dedede. And Kirby handed over the money as they ran to the doughnut shop. as they swung around behind it, they all ditched the uniforms in trash cans, and hid behind a dumpster.  
  
***  
  
Tiff, B.C., Hoshi, Kuyo, Tuff, were all running out of the prison. The knew that they'd better take the back way, so as not to draw attention. As they were running, Tuff tripped. "Ow, my ankle! I can't run anymore! Tiff glared at him. "Well we can't carry you, you'll HAVE to run! Tuff sat up. "No, I can't! Tiff thought, then said, "Oh look, here come Anna Nicole SMith in her undies." Tuff screamed, then tore down the hall as fast as he could. Tiff grinned. "That would make anyone run!" and they left the prison. they rouded the corner around the doughnut shop, and met up with their friends.  
  
***  
  
Ni-Kaabi slipped out of the infirmirary tent, and ran to the doughnut shop. All of them cheered at their success, then enjoyed a celebration dinner of fruit juice and fruit salad. needless to say, after that, they were all in the bathrooms with the trots.  
  
***  
  
Lupin had lead them to the edge of the Lupin III section. it was nightfall. "This is where we stop." he said. he winked at Tiff. "Until we meet again, Toots. and the Kirby gang was off to the Inu-Yasha section.  
  
End chapter 8 


End file.
